


Dublin... And Beyond

by Roshwen



Series: Field trips [3]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: And what do you give an asshole who just steals whatever he wants?, Because where do you take the guy who's already seen and done everything?, Fluff, Humor, Multi, and frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12618600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roshwen/pseuds/Roshwen
Summary: Planning a surprise trip for Ezekiel is easier said than done, however. Not because the guy is incredibly sneaky and guaranteed to find out what they are doing if Jake and Cassandra so much as look at each other a bit too long, but also because where would they even take him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a two parter for two reasons: the fist one is that I wanted to split up the planning and the actual trip and the second is the fact that I have to be on a plane in about an hour. Enjoy!

‘You know,’ Cassandra gasps into the crook of Jake’s neck, ‘I really liked going to Paris.’

They are in the Library, taking a quick break from their latest research and Jake is a little too busy undoing the buttons on Cassandra’s top while at the same time sucking a bruise the size of Oklahoma in her neck to reply immediately. Anyway, Cassandra has already made it pretty clear just how much she liked their trip to Paris. Multiple times. With great gusto.

‘And you liked... ah! You liked going to Florence as well, right?’ Cassandra continues, burying her hands in Jake’s hair and pulling him down to nibble a trail of kisses across his temple in a way that makes him groan against her shoulder. The vibrations dance across her skin and cause the best kind of goosebumps, made even better by Jake’s hands finally finding their way into her top. Blunt fingernails scrape across her spine and she shivers.

‘Sweetheart,’ Jake murmurs, making her shiver all over again, ‘I’m still not done thanking the two of you for Florence.’

Cassandra draws back a little, with great difficulty because Jake has no intention of letting go. ‘Then we should do something for Ezekiel as well,’ she says. ‘He started it and we can’t just... we can’t not do something for him as well.’

Jake looks at her, the heat in his eyes briefly replaced by a fondness that never fails to warm her up from the inside out. ‘You’re right,’ he says. ‘Let’s plan a city trip for Jones. _After_ we’re done here.’

Cassandra nods and that’s the last thing either of them say for a while.

~~~

Planning a surprise trip for Ezekiel is easier said than done, however. Not because the guy is incredibly sneaky and guaranteed to find out what they are doing if Jake and Cassandra so much as look at each other a bit too long, but also because:

_Where do you think we should take him?_

_*Jacob_Stone is typing...*_

_*Jacob_Stone is typing...*_

_*Jacob_Stone is typing...*_

_I don’t know. I was kind of hoping you had some ideas._

_I did, but they’re kinda... I don’t know. Also, I’m pretty sure there are some countries which have put a price on his head, so maybe we should check that first._

_Yeah, good call._

~~~

_Okay, so Belgium, Dubai and the UK are a no-go._

_What the fuck did he do in Belgium?_

_Well, you know how every diamond in the world passes through Antwerp at least once before it’s sold off?_

_Fucking hell._

_~~~_

For a while, they agree on Berlin. A vibrant modern city with one of the best night club scenes in the world, guaranteed to appeal to a guy who never seems to be able to sit still for more than five minutes. But as soon as they start looking for things to do, they begin to doubt.

_There’s a lot of WWII history stuff going on there, and that’s great for you and me but I’m not so sure Jones will like it._

_There’s other things there as well, look at this: their zoo is one of the best in the world. And he loves animals._

_Yeah, but that’s only one day. I’m not sure even Jones could spend all week in the zoo, no matter how cute he thinks the pandas are._

_There’s the night clubs?_

_You still up to go clubbing after that Dorian Gray thing though?_

_Good point._

~~~

Jake dismisses Amsterdam as ‘too tacky and I’m not sure I wanna see Jones stoned out of his mind on space brownies’. Cassandra vetoes Melbourne because ‘I know he talks a lot about Australia, but I’m not sure we can spring that on him as a surprise. What if it’s one of those absence makes the heart grow fonder things’. They’ve already been to London a couple of times, Cassandra spent seven years in New York City and is not exactly yearning to go back and when Jake in a fit of exasperation suggests they just take the guy to Disneyworld and be done with it, Cassandra is almost tempted to agree with him.

The problem is not just the city, though. It’s bigger than that. The problem is that they can’t seem to figure out what would blow Ezekiel away. Sure, he likes a lot of stuff. Animals, Harry Potter, Broadway theatre (don’t tell anyone), anything cool and unusual, anything to do with famous crimes and criminals, shiny things, the list goes on. But, as Jake so eloquently puts it, ‘that asshole already just takes whatever he wants and does whatever he wants to do, so there’s not really anything left for us to give to him.’

And that, Cassandra thinks as she is looking through what seems like the millionth TripAdvisor Top 10 Lists of Things To Do in Insert City Here, might be a big part of why they’ve already spent a month and haven’t been able to come up with anything. Then a Skype message from Jake pops up:

_Found anything new yet?_

Cassandra closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose against the frustration headache she can feel building at the back of her head.

Shapes and patterns dance before her mind’s eye in a never ending waltz and for a moment, she lets herself be comforted by their familiar movements, dances along with them until she spots it. An idea, small and bright and silver in the corner of her vision. It’s slippery though, and it will be gone any second if she’s not careful. She holds her breath, makes herself sit as still as possible until it comes closer, grows bigger and she knows exactly what they need to do.

She opens her eyes again and smiles at Jake, who is looking at her with a worried frown on her face. ‘You alright, Cassie?’ he asks out loud. Cassandra nods and starts typing because if she doesn’t tell Jake right now, she might lose the thought anyway.

_We’re going about this all wrong._

_What do you mean?_

_We’re trying to outdo_ Ezekiel Jones _. And to impress him with his own game._

_Fuck._

_I mean, I think we’re thinking way too big._

_Fucking hell, Cassie._

_So I think perhaps we should forget about a city trip and try to come up with something completely different._

Jake doesn’t reply, but from the stunned look on his face she knows they finally might be on to something.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this would be a two part deal? Yeah, it's not going to be a two part deal. Let's just aim for three, but I'm not making any promises here (trust Ezekiel to be the difficult one).

Cassandra and Stone are planning something and Ezekiel wished they wouldn’t.

Granted, they are pretty subtle about it, more subtle than he had expected from either of them, but he’s planned two surprise trips now and he knows the signs. Brief bursts of typing followed by studiously not looking at anything or anyone, suddenly switching browser windows when he’s coming up to stand behind one of them and not-so-well-hidden long and thoughtful looks when they think he’s not paying attention. And it makes sense: since he’s taken both Jake and Cassandra on a trip, it would only be a matter of time before they decided they should plan something for him as well.

He just wished they wouldn’t.

Because they don’t _have to_.

He has already seen half the world, and the other half he is not particularly keen to see anyway. He knows they’ll try to impress him by taking him somewhere cool, a place or a thing that they think will blow him away like Jake was when they were standing in front of Michelangelo’s David. Or like when they told Cassandra they would spend the next day of their trip at the Cité des Sciences et de l’Industrie. Somewhere like Berlin, with the most exclusive night clubs in the world (he’s already been there. Not as impressive as the rumours made it out to be). Or Amsterdam, because they think he might want to hit the coffee shops (he doesn’t tell them that he already has a small stash of pot stacked away, for when his nightmares about the time loop get a little too vivid). Fuck, they even might try to take him to Melbourne and as soon as _that_ thought hits him, he makes it a point to tell them some of the more depressing stories about his childhood. They might wonder at him suddenly opening up like that, but hell. He is  _not_ going back there without getting a chance to mentally prepare himself.

He knows it didn’t stop them from planning anything, though, and he can see from the thunderclouds gathering over Jake’s head that it’s not going well.

The thing is.

The thing is.

The thing is that there is nothing in the world that impresses Ezekiel more than watching Cassandra focussing on something only she can see, hands flashing and muttering about numbers, formulas, the most complicated equations known to mankind, before turning around with that brilliant smile of hers and telling them she’s got it.

He loves nothing more than seeing Stone crouching down before some kind of ancient tablet decorated with gibberish and pictures of naked people with sticks, his rough hands tracing the lines with incredible delicacy, muttering about in Latin or Greek or even, in one memorable case, ancient Aramaic, before standing up and telling them they need to go _that_ way.

And the fact that both these people regularly look at him like he’s hung the moon for him, that he gets to hold them and kiss them and sleep with them, that they even _trust_ him? That never fails to take his breath away.

So. Whatever it is that Jake and Cassandra are planning, they might as well stop right now.

~~~

For a moment, he thinks they have. Because one afternoon, Cassandra looks about ready to throw her laptop out of the window and pinches the bridge of her nose, the way she does when she feels a headache coming up (and when will her headaches stop giving him a minor panic attack every time is something Ezekiel would very much like to know). But then she opens her eyes again and when Jake asks if she’s alright, starts typing away furiously. Jake looks stunned and Ezekiel gets the distinct impression that there is some kind of epiphany happening.

After that, all the tension in the Annex melts away and Cassandra and Jake are acting their usual, happy, non-sneaky selves again. Which is all Ezekiel ever wanted anyway.

~~~

Boy, was he wrong.

Because he is in the Library, sent on some kind of stupid errand by Jenkins which he only agreed to because the alternative was staying in the Annex where Flynn was bouncing about like the weirdest kangaroo Ezekiel had ever seen (and that’s saying something), when he hears heavy footsteps coming up behind him. He turns around and Stone is standing there, grinning at him and Ezekiel thinks _oh fuck_.

Then Jake steps closer, so close that he’s now practically trapping Ezekiel against the bookshelf. ‘You know,’ he says in that low voice that pushes all Ezekiel’s buttons at once, ‘you are just an impossible asshole.’

‘You’re only getting that now, are you?’ Ezekiel asks, flashing him one of his cool and confident grins. If Jake is still calling him an asshole, things might not be so bad after all. It’s when he starts waxing poetical that Ezekiel will really start to panic.

‘But,’ Jake continues, cupping Ezekiel’s face and pulling him in for a kiss, then breaking off to kiss his way up to Ezekiel’s ear, ‘if you get your butt to the Annex next Sunday, 4am, we think we’ve found you something you might like.’

The last words are a purred directly into his ear and make their way straight down to Ezekiel’s cock. So despite his confusion and his wonder and his sense of _you did not have to do this you idiots_ , he buries his hands in Jake’s hair and drags him closer. As long as the cowboy’s here, they might as well have some fun.

Judging from the way Jake has already managed to unbutton Ezekiel’s shirt in two seconds flat, he wholeheartedly agrees.

~~~

Next Sunday he walks into the Annex at a godforsaken hour of the morning (at least 5am was nearly morning, 4am is still the middle of the night), suitcase packed with ‘something warm and practical’ in hand. Cassandra and Stone are there, looking only marginally more awake. They light up when they see him, though, and before Ezekiel knows it he is ambushed in a three-person good morning hug.

‘Guys,’ he says, trying to say it at least once, ‘you know you didn’t...’

They don’t give him a chance to finish the sentence: Cassandra silences him pretty effectively by catching his mouth in a kiss while Jake rumbles into his temple: ‘We know. But just humour us, would ya?’

And with that, Ezekiel is released, the globe is turned, the Back Door lights up and off they go.

~~~

When they stumble on to a busy street, Ezekiel can’t figure out immediately where they are. The only thing that looks like a landmark is a massive steel kind of needle that juts up hundreds of feet into the air. He doesn’t recognize the thing, however, although it looks like a very effective way to scare the local bird population.

Then he spots a souvenir shop on the other side of the road, filled with sheep, leprechauns and shamrocks, not to mention the aggressively Irish folk music that almost drowns out the rumble of traffic passing by, and he bursts out laughing. ‘We’re in _Dublin?’_

‘We are,’ Jake says, coming up to stand next to him and wrapping an arm around Ezekiel’s waist. ‘Didn’t think you’d ever been.’

Ezekiel hasn’t. In fact, he has never even been to Ireland, but how in the hell they knew that is beyond him. ‘Cool,’ he tells Jake and smiles at Cassandra who is looking at him with hopeful expectation. ‘I could go for some Guinness.’

Cassandra shares a look with Jake, and Ezekiel can feel new unease curling in his gut. ‘What?’

‘You’ll see,’ is all the answer he gets before they drag him away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it took me about 3500 words more than I though it would, but the end is in sight! After this, we'll finally get to the _real_ trip!

They start with breakfast, and this is something Ezekiel has to give the Irish: they know how to make sure you’re not hungry again for the rest of the day. Or possibly, the week. Cassandra goes a little green as she sees how full he’s loading his plate with mashed potatoes, sausages, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. Ezekiel doesn't care, he's too busy marveling at the fact that he can actually wash all this down with some _proper_ tea. Jake doesn't care either, he just looks like he’s arrived in food heaven before he starts heaping even more food on his plate than Ezekiel.

~~~  
  
They spend the rest of the day walking around past all the highlights. Past the General Post Office, where Jake tells them about the Easter Rising of 1916 (of which Ezekiel approves. Ever since his stint in MI6, he’s a big supporter of anyone trying to stick it to the British Government). Across the Liffey to Trinity College, where Jake’s eyes go a little glassy and Cassandra tells Ezekiel about the Book of Kells, the oldest best preserved Bible in the world. To St. Stephen’s Green, where Cassandra gets mobbed by an army of sea gulls and pigeons before Ezekiel comes to the rescue and suggests she might not want to feed the birds here after all. They both start to laugh as Jake winces when a lurid yellow Viking boat on wheels thunders by, filled with tourists in plastic Viking helmets (‘Someone should tell them Vikings didn’t actually wear those.’ ‘Not the time, mate. Not the time.’)

And it’s _nice._ Walking around, talking and laughing with his two favourite people in the world, it’s _good._ From the way Jake and Cassandra keep looking at him and then at each other, however, Ezekiel can see it’s not the main event yet. At the moment, it’s a little harder to care though. Especially right now, when he is walking along the Liffey while the sun is getting lower and turning the light to gold. Ezekiel has one arm around Cassandra and Jake’s hand is a warm weight in the small of his back and they’re both listening to him telling the story of one of his famous heists and it’s _perfect._

~~~  
  
They finally drop the ball later that night, when they are having dinner in a pub that is an absolute maze of nooks and crannies. It’s filled to the brim, but they’ve managed to secure a booth in the corner that’s so secluded they might as well have been there alone. There, Ezekiel finally gets his pint of Guinness. Jake orders Jameson and Cassandra is sipping from a pint of cider the size of her head when Jake puts his whiskey down and looks at Ezekiel.

‘Did I already tell you how you’re an impossible asshole?’ he asks with a fond smile that makes Ezekiel _very_ nervous.

He hides his nerves with a wide grin and a sip of beer. ‘All the time, cowboy. But I gotta say, you did a fine job with this.’

‘Just fine?’ Cassandra says, looking at Jake with a grin that’s also way too wide for Ezekiel’s comfort. ‘Jake, I think we can do better than _just fine,_ right?’

‘Of course we can,’ Jake says. ‘For instance, Jones. Did you know that Ireland is home to the largest herd of wild unicorns in the world?’

‘Or that there are no snakes in Ireland, but a very small kind of dragon has immigrated here from mainland Europe because they kept accidentally causing forest fires?’ Cassandra adds. ‘They’re _adorable_.’

‘Also,’ Jake continues, ‘ _real_ werewolves aren’t actually all that bad when you get to know them.’

‘Don’t forget the selkies,’ Cassandra says.

‘And of course, there’s the leprechauns. Sneaky little buggers with a penchant for gold. Sound familiar?’ Jake finishes, the fond look on his face only getting fonder when he sees the confusion on Ezekiel’s face.

‘I don’t get it,’ Ezekiel says.

Because he doesn’t. Yeah, all those things sound bloody amazing, but they can’t mean... surely they can’t...

Could they?

Cassandra reaches out and takes his hand. ‘You’ve shown us some amazing parts of the human world,’ she says softly. ‘But there’s a whole magical world out there too. We thought you might like to see some of that.’

For a moment, Ezekiel can only stare at them. Then, in a voice that sounds nothing like his own, he says: ‘You’re kidding me, right?’

They are not kidding.

Jake and Cassandra launch into an explanation, tell him how they all planned it (apparently it involved a lot of talking to Jenkins and _that_ is something Ezekiel will remember), where they are going, what they are going to see, but before Jake can delve into a detailed description of their accommodation, which is _not_ going to be the bland three-star hotel they took him to this morning, Ezekiel tells them to stop. _Now._

They fall quiet, looking at him with wide, worried eyes and he has to close his own eyes because they are starting to sting and there’s something in his throat as well and damn it, Ezekiel Jones is _not_ going to cry into his Guinness, he’s _not_.

Except he might be, just a little, because suddenly there’s someone sitting on either side of him and strong arms pull him tight against a broad chest while soft fingers card through his hair. Stone is murmuring words into his ear and Cassandra is whispering stuff as well, but they might as well have been talking Gaelic for all Ezekiel knows. He doesn’t listen, anyway. He just holds on to them both and tries not to drown in the wave of gratitude and love that crashes over him.

Because these two.

_These two._

These _fucking_ two.

They did everything they _did not have to do_ and they _did it anyway_ and he has no idea _why_ or _how_ or how they even _thought_ of this but _fucking hell._

After a few moments of very careful breathing, Ezekiel sits up straight and asks, praying that his voice does not sound too wobbly: ‘How did you know?’

‘Well, there was Stumpy,’ Jake says, arm still wrapped firmly around Ezekiel’s shoulders.

‘And Nessie Jr.,’ Cassandra adds.

‘And don’t think I’ve forgotten about that stunt you pulled with that unicorn you bribed with chocolate milk,’ Jake says a little darkly. The dark tone is made less effective by Jake nuzzling a kiss into Ezekiel’s hair, though.

‘So it really wasn’t that hard to figure out,’ Cassandra says, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder so she can start pressing kisses to his cheek as well.

‘I thought I was impossible,’ Ezekiel mutters. Then Cassandra’s mouth finds his and he kisses her back fiercely, trying to convey with his kiss everything he cannot put into words right now. From the look in her eyes when he finally lets go, she gets the message. For good measure, he presses a kiss to her forehead as well before he turns around to face Jake.

‘You are,’ Jake says as he cups Ezekiel’s head in his hand and pulls him closer. ‘But at least you’re _our_ impossible asshole.’

And that, Ezekiel thinks as Jake’s mouth meets his, might be the greatest surprise of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find the story about the unicorn and the chocolate milk [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12284706)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! Other bunnies demanded attention first and work has been super busy this week, so I did not have time to hammer out a long ass chapter like this one. Anyway, here's the conclusion to the thrilling city trip saga. Have fun and beware: here be dragons!

After dinner, they go back to the hotel. It’s a bland, generic, three star chain kind of affair but it’s clean, the room is spacious and, most importantly, the bed is big enough for three people. Jake barely has time to close the door behind them before Ezekiel has pulled Cassandra’s skirt and panties down to her ankles and dropped to his knees in front of her. Cassandra lets herself fall backwards on to the bed, hand tangled in Ezekiel’s hair and the widest grin on her face as Ezekiel starts to thank her in a very practical way.

Jake takes a moment to admire the view before he joins in, and the night only gets better from there.

~~~  
  
The next morning, they are lying tangled together in a sleepy pile of limbs on the bed when the phone in the room starts to ring. It’s the reception desk downstairs, telling them that their driver is here. The receptionist sounds a bit unnerved, so they get dressed as quickly as they can (while silently cursing the driver’s timing, because lazy morning sex is supposed to be the best part of their trips damn it) and head to the lobby. There they find a very large, very muscular and _very_ hairy man who smiles at them, tells them his name is Connor and that he’ll be their guide for the week. He also apologizes for his appearance; apparently it will be the full moon in about ten days and he always looks a bit more shaggy around the time of the month, if you know what he means. It’ll be fine though, as long as they promise not to wear any silver jewelry, it’ll be fine. Promise.

~~~

Connor then takes them to his car, which looks very old, not very comfortable and a bit too small for the four of them with their luggage. It takes a bit of pushing and shoving, but eventually they are all crammed inside, so they set off on the way out of town. Connor assures them that they won’t have to be in the car for long and he’s right: after about an hour, they stop at an abandoned farmhouse by the side of the road. There, Connor parks the car and disappears inside the bar for a moment, only to return five minutes later to ask if any of them have any experience with horses. He could do it himself, you see, but getting them harnessed to the carriage, it’s really faster when you do it with two people.

Jake has experience with horses. He practically bounces into the barn with Ezekiel hot on his heels.

‘Jones, you realize these are just normal horses, right? We’ll get to the magic ones in a bit.’

‘Mate, I don’t care. Look, I think it likes me!’

Jake sniggers. ‘Yeah, you probably still smell like that apple you had for breakfast.’

Ezekiel huffs and turns his back to Jake, patting the horse’s neck again and missing the soft smile that follows right after the snigger.

~~~  
  
When both horses are harnessed, they climb into the carriage with Connor taking the reins up front. They soon find out that although a carriage might _look_ very fancy and romantic, it’s also drafty and musty and it jolts like a bitch when going over a bump in the road.

There are a lot of bumps in the road.

~~~  
  
All the bumps, bruises and nausea are forgotten when Connor draws the horses to a stand and announces they’re here.

Because _here_ turns out to be an actual castle with an actual tower and actual turrets and an actual drawbridge at the edge of an actual lake.

Jake mutters something about the defining characteristics of classic 6th century architecture while Ezekiel gapes and Cassandra slides her hand in his, holding on tight as they make their way across the drawbridge and through the gate. There they are welcomed by a very friendly looking but also distinctively hairy woman. Connor, who comes up behind them with the horses, introduces her as Abby, his mate.

It looks like Ezekiel is going to have to watch his language around them a bit. He doesn’t mind, though.

When he asks, still a bit breathless because _look at that there’s an actual moat_ , how they even _found_ this place, Cassandra grins and tells him it’s Jenkins’. He’s letting them stay here as long as they promise not to break anything too valuable.

‘ _Jenkins_ has a _castle?’_

‘Of course he has,’ Jake says, as if it’s obvious. ‘He’s a Knight of the Round Table, of course he has his own castle.’

Connor then tells them that Galeas hasn’t lived here for a long time now, but that he’s turned his old home into a sort of refuge for all kinds of creatures who need a break. Out there, the supernatural world is governed by ancient laws and lore, but in here it’s only the will of Galeas that counts. And since Galeas has decreed that Jake, Cassandra and Ezekiel are his friends, well. As long as they’re here, they will be the safest people in all of Ireland. Now, would they like to see the dragons?

~~~

The dragons are about the size of a large cat, and behave just like cats as well. Their scales glitter like gemstones in the sunlight, like rubies and emeralds lined with gold and silver along their snouts and tails. They’re warm to the touch, though, as Ezekiel discovers when he holds out a hand and lets one of them crawl up his arm. Tiny claws prick into his arm as the creature scampers up to his shoulder and curls itself around his neck like a very weird (but awesome) scarf, where it heaves a breath like a bonfire and promptly falls asleep.

Meanwhile Jake is rubbing another dragon’s belly, a big sapphire blue fellow that’s lying on its back and belching like a chimney. Cassandra is lying on the floor next to it, covered head to toe in a blanket of shiny scales and giggling as one of the dragons nuzzles her ear, sparks flying up as it lets out a curious huff and almost sets fire to her hair.

_Adorable_ is exactly the right word.

~~~

After meeting the dragons, it’s time for dinner. Connor is a pretty good cook, although to Jake’s great disappointment he is also a vegetarian. You would be too, if you spent two days every month absolutely gorging yourself on meat.

Jake cheers up considerably when Abby enters with a bottle of amber liquid and three glasses. When he asks what it is, she tells them it’s metheglin and it’s Galeas’ drink of choice whenever he stays here.

She pours three glasses but when Jake takes a sniff, his eyes immediately start to water and it feels like his nose hair is smouldering softly away.

‘It’s made of apples,’ Abby tells them with a cheerful smile. ‘Well, mainly apples. There’s also honey in there, and herbs. Herbs are very good for you, you know.’

They might be, but after Abby’s left the room Ezekiel sniffs his glass as well and immediately starts coughing.

‘Are you sure _metheglin_ isn’t Gaelic for _moonshine_?’ he asks Jake. Jake doesn’t answer, just stares at Cassandra as she takes a careful sip and smiles at them.

‘I like it,’ she says, taking another sip. ‘It tastes like I’m kissing both of you together.’

After that, Jake and Ezekiel have no choice but to start drinking as well.

~~~  
  
The bedroom Connor prepared for them is right up in the highest room in the tallest tower, which _doesn’t_ earn him a Shrek joke from Ezekiel. Jake and Cassandra look at him a bit worried when they realize the opportunity he’s missing here, but Ezekiel is too busy staring at the huge canopied bed, bigger than any bed he’s ever seen and made of solid oak. ‘Oh man,’ he breathes after Connor has left, ‘we’re going to have some _fun_ tonight.’

~~~

And fun they have.

~~~

The next morning, Ezekiel is woken by Cassandra who is bouncing up and down next to the bed. Apparently the unicorns have arrived.

Now, Ezekiel has already met a unicorn once but, as Jake informs him, that was an _American_ unicorn, influenced by the lore over there. Over here, unicorns are bound to look a little different.

~~~

A little different is not how Ezekiel would have put it.

For a start, these unicorns are nothing like the majestic moonlight creature he met back home. They look more like shaggy Shetland ponies with a stick on their head. They are small and sturdy, barely over three foot high and built like tiny tanks. They are not silvery white but grubby grey, dirt brown or dusty black. They don’t have flowing manes or tails, but bushes of hair that cover their necks and heads like a tangled web of weeds and rather than moving silently, the noise a herd of Irish unicorns makes when it comes thundering across the glen can be heard from miles away.

When Ezekiel drops down to his knees beside one of them, though, the unicorn gives him an appraising look that is more intelligent than even Jake has never seen in a horse.

‘Not just the size of Shetland ponies, but the ego too,’ Jake mutters as he sinks down next to Ezekiel, right before the unicorn headbutts him so he loses his balance and lands flat on his ass.

‘Yeah, you got that one coming, cowboy,’ Ezekiel tells him when he’s done laughing. Then he notices Cassandra is filming the entire encounter with her phone and he starts laughing even harder.

~~~

That evening, they head outside for a walk around the lake. The moon is not yet full (another week, as Connor keeps reassuring them), but it’s light enough that they can make their way without flashlights. They are walking together quietly, not willing to disturb the peace of the glen around them, when they hear a loud whirring overhead, followed by four splashes into the lake. When they turn around, four enormous swans are drifting towards them in majestic silence and Jake softly starts swearing under his breath.

When Cassandra asks in a small voice what these swans are, because they’re obviously some kind of magical creature, Jake is quiet for a moment before he turns around and Ezekiel sees the tears slowly falling down his face. ‘It’s a sad story, Cassie,’ Jake whispers, taking her by the hand and leading her to the edge of the water.

There they sit down while the swans one by one swim by and bend their long, slender necks in greeting. Ezekiel reaches out a hand to touch them, but Jake stops him just in time. ‘You don’t want to touch a swan, Jones. Magical or not, don’t do it if you want to keep both your arms the way they are.’

~~~

The story of the Children of Lir is a very sad story indeed. Cassandra sniffles and wipes her eyes on Jake’s shirt, while Ezekiel pretends his eyes are not watering as well. Jake’s voice sounds even rougher than usual as he talks, and when he falls quiet they hold on tight to each other for a moment, before getting up and slowly making their way back to the castle.

~~~

None of them feel the need to go to bed immediately. Instead they climb up to the top of the tower to do a little stargazing. First, Cassandra points out all the constellations and Jake then tells them the story that goes with them from ancient Greek, Roman or even Egyptian mythology.

After two of these stories, however, Cassandra starts frowning at the sky. When Ezekiel asks what’s wrong, she looks at them and tells them that even though they are in the middle of nowhere, they are not so far from Dublin that light pollution is not still a thing. They should not be able to see this many stars.

After a moment of silence, Jake starts swearing for the second time that evening while Ezekiel starts laughing so hard he almost topples off the tower. Because while he took Jake to Florence and Cassandra to Paris, these two.

These _fucking_ two.

They took him to a fucking _alternate dimension_ because they wanted to do something _nice_ for him. Which they didn’t even _have to do_ as he keeps pointing out, because he already has _them._

He stops laughing, then looks at his cowboy and his princess with a heart so full that he’s afraid it might explode any moment. ‘Come here,’ he whispers.

Because as long as gets to wrap one arm around Cassandra and one arm around Jake and hold them both as tight as he can, Ezekiel Jones could not give a rat’s ass about where he is.

~~~

Even though the selkies are beautiful in human form and incredibly cute in seal form.

~~~

Also leprechauns are definitely Ezekiel’s kind of people. It’s a good thing they are under Jenkins’ protection though, because it turns out that challenging a magical thief species to a thief-off is _not_ the best idea.


End file.
